By Jeffrey Petts
We’ll attempt to keep this non-denominational and just play-up the “holiday†theme. Here are twelve holiday wishes – one for each of the twelve days of Christmas – to put under this sports fan’s proverbial tree.
(I could have made the attempt to change the lyrics to The Twelve Days of Christmas, but it was 2:30 in the morning when I came up with idea so just be happy with what you’ve got.)
Here we go…
Twelve Ws… in 2008 for Michigan’s new head coach, Rich Rodriguez. With a bit of luck, he can pick up his thirteenth win in the first week in January of ’09.
Eleven days of tickets… for Business Man’s Specials throughout the baseball season. Few things are more enjoyable than a day game on a weekday afternoon. You could be in the office or having fun in the sun? Watered-down draft beer never tasted better.
A ten-year contract extension… for the Detroit Red Wings’ GM, Ken Holland. Critics said the Wings would never compete in a salary-capped NHL. Um, WRONG. They change the rules, and Kenny keeps plugging in the winning pieces. Holland can stay as long as he likes, in my opinion. He’s earned it.
Nine quality hitters… for my fantasy baseball team. Spring Training can’t get here fast enough for some of us.
Eight touchdowns… for Tom Brady against the G-Men so he can blow by Peyton Manning’s touchdown record and put an exclamation point on what’s been a brilliant season.
Seven months… of Tiger dominance. With the additions of Dontrelle Willis, Miguel Cabrera and Edgar Renteria, Detroit is an early favorites to win the AL Central. (And if you’re doing the math, that seventh month is October.)
Six months… of Big Apple averageness, for Met and Yankee fans alike. When their teams are bad (like the dreadful Knicks), they’re easily ignored. But when they’re merely average, the faithful endlessly torture themselves through a grueling 162-game season. And the rest of us get to sit back and enjoy the show.
A five-year hiatus… from discussing Roger Clemens and whether he deserves entry into Cooperstown after the release of the Mitchell Report. (He doesn’t.)
Four… more wins for the New England Patriots. I’m just that tired of hearing about the ‘72 Dolphins.
Three lousy points… and a trip in the Wayback Machine for the Detroit Lions and their fans. A single point would have kept the Lions from losing in overtime to the Vikings back in September, and a pair would have allowed them to prevail over the Cowboys two weeks ago. With two more wins, the Lions are at 9-6 and control their own playoff destiny. Instead, it’s just another hopeless Christmas in Detroit.
Two uneventful years… for Michael Vick in the federal pen. Let him do the time, make amends and be a lesson to the rest of us. Hopefully the lesson has a happy ending. (Or dogs – in a fit of karmic irony – maul him. Either way, we learn an interesting lesson.)
A repeat performance… of Canon Fodder’s inaugural year. It was clumsy and inconsistent, but we’ve improved with time. If I could receive only one present this holiday season, it would be for the continued success of our humble little website…
…Or for the Vancouver Canucks to trade goalie Roberto Luongo to the Wings for a couple of bad contracts and a bucket of used pucks. Forget the website and all the readers, I’ll take the uber-goalie.
Um, forget I said that. Continue to check in regularly. We love you.
I hope all of you have a safe holiday season, so go and enjoy your happy ChristmaHanuKwanzikuh or whatever.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klqBbo8z6y0[/youtube]
The lions BEAT the vikings in overtime this year. Not that it matters though. They are losers through and through