Canon Fodder – Sports Blog

By Jeffrey Petts

Fat Tuesday – better known as Paczki Day to those of us in Detroit – is upon us again and every year I’m driven slightly mad by the incorrect use of the word “paczki”.

Right off the bat, paczki is the plural form of paczek. As mouse is to mice, paczek is to paczki. You wouldn’t call a group of mice “mices” so why does paczki become “paczkis”? (It shouldn’t.) So, today you should say, “I had a paczek with my coffee,” or maybe, “On the way to work I stopped and picked up a box of paczki.” Both of these are the correct use of the proper term.

While we’re at it…

Very few seem able to pronounce the name properly. Look closely at the words paczek and paczki. Do you see the letter ‘n’ anywhere in either word? Nope. It’s not there. I don’t care how many times the Detroit Free Press phonetically spells the name “POONCH-key”, they’re wrong every time. This all derives from a seldom-used letter in the Polish alphabet that is written as the letter ‘a’ with a tiny (often overlooked) hook on the bottom. This changes the pronunciation of the letter to something akin to the ‘ow’ in the word pow. A more proper phonetic spelling is “POUCH-key”. (The ‘cz’ in Polish is the equivalent of ‘ch’ in English, and we all pretty much get the ‘ki’ as ‘key’.) “POW-chek” would be the singular version.

(For the record, the ‘a’ with the hook isn’t pronounced exactly as I stated, but that’s close enough to earn the respect of any full-blooded Pole. Anyone familiar with that dreaded little hook knows what I mean.)

Now we know when to use each word, we’ve learned how to pronounce the words, now let’s examine what is an actual paczek.

In an attempt to empty their pantries of foods that are given up for Lent, Polish mothers would create magnificent pastries crammed full of fruity goodness. An old school paczek can boast up to 2000 calories and weigh half a pound. (Oh yes, my friends, I’ve seen the glory of Hamtramck in action. One or two of these monsters could sideline the most prolific of eaters.)

For the most part, the absurdly huge pazcki are of the past. Most bakeries focus on 600-800 calorie versions not much larger than your average jelly doughnut. The real difference between your run-of-the-mill doughnut and a paczek is in the filling. Sure, raspberry, strawberry and lemon are standard fare. Custards and chocolate fillings are a distinct American influence. But if you look very carefully, you might be fortunate to cross paths with a prune (yes, prune) or marmalade. Follow the old timers around Hamtramck and maybe you’ll find one of these little treasures in a back alley bakery. Then you’ll truly know (and appreciate) the bliss we Poles have been enjoying for generations.

And for the love of the former pope, don’t call them “POONCH-keys”.

Want to read more? Here’s a link: Paczki.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 5th, 2008 at 10:52 am and is filed under Jeffrey Petts, Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.