Canon Fodder – Sports Blog

You’re getting a total cop-out today.  It’s time to renew my brewery membership and that inspired me to seek out a slew of drinking quotes.  I couldn’t focus on writing with the call of dark ale beckoning me.

(I have a personal goal to publish at list one article under each Canon Fodder category.  I guess I can check “Drinking” off the list.)

Cheers!

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-Dave Barry
 

Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn’t hold water.
-Thomas L. Masson
 

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-Dave Barry
 

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
-Humphrey Bogart
 

People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
-Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
 

Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.
-Bruce Carlton
 

No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.
-John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough
 

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-Winston Churchill
 

Make sure that the beer – four pints a week – goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop.
-Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944
 

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
-David Daye
 

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed – Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.’
-Deep Thought, Jack Handy
 

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
-W.C. Fields
 

Everybody has to believe in something…..I believe I’ll have another drink.
-W.C. Fields
 

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
 

The easiest way to spot a wanker in a pub is to look around and find who’s drinking a Corona with a slice of lemon in the neck.
-Warwick Franks
 

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-Ernest Hemmingway
 

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
 

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
-Abraham Lincoln
 

We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old.
-Martin Luther
 

Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
-Don Marquis
 

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-Dean Martin
 

Whoever serves beer or wine watered down, he himself deserves in them to drown.
-Midieval plea for pure libations
 

I drink to make other people interesting.
-George Jean Nathan
 

May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.
-Old Irish Toast
 

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-Henny Youngman
 

A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion.
-Jim Parker, on the importance of a healthy pub culture
 

He was a wise man who invented beer.
-Plato
 

…There is only one game at the heart of America and that is baseball, and only one beverage to be found sloshing at the depths of our national soul and that is beer.
-Peter Richmond
 

I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.
-Abraham Lincoln
 

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
-Frank Sinatra
 

I never met a pub I didn’t like.
-Pete Slosberg, Founder of Pete’s Brewing Company
A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn’t care to drink with, even if he drank.
-H. L. Mencken
 

[I recommend]… bread, meat, vegetables and beer.
-Sophocles’ philosophy of a moderate diet
 

This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption… Beer!
-Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, Friar Tuck
 

Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.
-David Rains Wallace
 

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
-Frank Zappa
 

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
-Kaiser Welhelm
 

I’m going to buy a boat… do a little travelling, and I’m going to be drinking beer!
-John Welsh, Brooklyn bus driver who won $30 million in the New York lottery
 

Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink.
-Whitstran Brewery sign
 

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-Oscar Wilde
 

Who does not love beer, wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long.
-Carl Worner
 

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
-Catherine Zandonella
 

And must I wholly banish hence these red and golden juices, and pay my vows to Abstinence, that pallidest of Muses?
-Sir William Watson
 

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
-William Butler Yeats
 

If all be true that I do think, there are five reasons we should drink: Good wine — a friend — or being dry — or lest we should be by and by — or any other reason why.
-Henry Aldrich
  

And don’t forget to spread the word about Canon Fodder when you’re tipping a brew.  (Or a few.)

Have a question or comment?  Drop me an e-mail at jeff@canon-fodder.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 21st, 2007 at 1:50 pm and is filed under Canon Fodder, Drinking, Guest Writers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.