Canon Fodder – Sports Blog

We goaltenders tend to be very proud bastards.
~ Gerry Cheevers
 

Some people believe it’s the hardest position to play in all of sports.  I believe it ranks up there with an ace pitcher in baseball and a quarterback in football.  The physical rigors of the job are certainly more demanding than either of those positions.  All three require intestinal fortitude but the major factor separating goalies from all other sports figures is their iron psyches.  Jacques Plante once quipped, “How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?”

 

In all sports, there is a line separating personal achievement from that which benefits the team.  In baseball it might be a player opting to swing for the fences rather than simply laying down a bunt to score the winning run.  In football a team might be better served to have its Pro-Bowl quarterback hand the ball off rather than attempt a difficult throw just because a milestone passing record is on the line.  In basketball a player might be asked to dish the ball rather than launch a risky three-pointer.  Unfortunately, there’s not much glory in a well-executed bunt, a handoff to the running back or a bounce pass into the paint.
 

But there is one arena in the world of sports where personal achievement goes hand-in-hand with team success; a goaltender striving for the perfect game – the shutout.
 

Kevin Constantine called goaltending “a suffering position.”  “Sixty minutes of hell,” is how legendary goalkeeper Glenn Hall felt about each game between the pipes.  Putting it bluntly, being a goalie is to be often criticized and seldom appreciated.  (Kind of like being married.)  Those that take up the craft will experience the loneliness of being like none of the other players in their game.  Jacques Plante offered, “Only a goalie can appreciate what a goalie goes through.”  To be a goalie is to be a member of a tortured fraternity.  Kind of like being a Detroit Lions or Chicago Cubs fan but they shoot frozen pucks at you.
 

For all the downside to being a net minder, the opportunity for a shutout is the best chance for a goalie to be fully appreciated for their prowess.  Every goalie is perfect at the start of each game.  The great ones can maintain the perfection against impossible odds.  You can’t hold back the ocean forever, but they’ll put a mark in the “SHO” column if you can do it for sixty minutes.
 

I’ll confess that I too am a member of this unfortunate fraternity, this brotherhood of goaltenders.  Sure, it’s just a recreational “beer” league.  I was too late to the game to take it seriously and even if I had, my sloth-like reflexes would have run me out of the competitive ranks early.  But even in the dregs of recreational hockey, a lowly goaltender can flirt with perfection as I did on Monday night.
 

Being a goalie is like riding a rollercoaster over the course of a season.  The leagues I play in are too small and informal to allow for backup goaltenders.  My team’s fate rises and falls with my performance.  Gene Ubriaco once said, “In hockey, goaltending is 75 percent of the game.  Unless it’s bad goaltending.  Then it’s 100 percent of the game, because you’re going to lose.”  When done badly, it’s embarrassing.  When done well, people tend to notice the goal scorers.  But when it’s perfect, the goalie gets the credit.
 

For the last few weeks, my play has been a lot more down than up.  One devastating period and a blown lead sent our team into a three-game slide.  On one long, lonely night, I couldn’t have stopped a beach ball.  But a win restores a lot of confidence and we were able to snap the skid last week.  Heading into Monday’s game, I was a new man.
 

And through two periods of hockey, it showed.  A large, amber “0” was posted above my net on the scoreboard heading into the 3^rd period.  Our team was enjoying a comfortable seven goal lead and all we had to do was survive another fourteen minutes.  (It’s beer league hockey.  Do you honestly believe these guys could handle an additional eighteen minutes of skating?)
 

Because I like to consider myself a team player, I have a standing offer to all my hockey teams.  You see, one benefit of being a goalie is you are excluded from team fees.  Playing hockey is expensive.  Being a goalie is very expensive.  But once your equipment is paid for, there’s not much a goalkeeper has to open the wallet for.  (The downside of this is how a goalie can’t miss a game.  Jimmy the forward no-call, no-show?  No biggie.  Missing defenseman?  We’ll handle it.  No goalie?  Find him, a rope, and a tree.)  I quickly realized the long-term benefit of not having to chip into the team coffers.  To make up for this perk, I devised a plan that would support my effort to strive for perfection and allow me to bind the team together toward a common goal.  The plan?  When any team I’m playing for earns a shutout, the ensuing bar tab is on me.
 

Let’s put this into perspective.  Eight or nine hockey players (and a goalie with something to actually celebrate) can pack away a significant amount of beer and munchies.  One shutout in a season can be expensive.  Two stretches the pocketbook.  Three might get me a call from my credit card company.
 

There is one caveat to the deal.  In order for the team to ‘earn’ a shutout, we have to go the distance.  If we simply mercy the opponent and the game is called early, it’s not really a shutout.  (I’ve had teams get within a goal of a mercy and then simply shutdown the offense.  On one such occasion, one of our guys got a breakaway and scored.  Good for me and my wallet but the player in question received a team-wide cold shoulder at the bar.  Since then, the team strategy has been to shutdown the offense when we’re within two goals of the mercy rule.)
 

One pleasant perk to this little deal is how I’m treated in the final minutes of a game when a shutout is still on the line.  (No one will actually mention “shutout” while this is happening but every player in the building knows all the implications hidden within the great amber “0”.  To say it would be to jinx perfection.)  Though not a skater will so much as make eye contact with me (for fear of the jinx), you’ll see forwards hustling to cover open opponents on the points.  Gun shy defensemen suddenly act like the Secret Service protecting the President; guys are diving in the way to keep shots from reaching the net.  (Moral of the story; men will go to extraordinary lengths for free beer.)
 

So we’re in the final five minutes of the game with a big lead.  The outcome of the game is no longer in question.  It had become a battle of wills.  Their team was playing for dignity and to soil perfection.  My guys were skating for free beer.  Something had to give.
 

If you’re not familiar with hockey, it’s hard to appreciate 200 lbs on skates crashing down on a goalie only to be impeded at the last moment by another 200 lbs body.  To call this ‘recreational’ hockey is a stretch.  A quick glance around the rink and I could see nobody was really enjoying the game.  Too much was at stake.
 

As luck would have it, my bid for perfection was ruined with 1:58 remaining in the game.  The spoiler was hardly a rocket; more of a weak squib that trickled between my leg and the post.  It died two inches over the goal line.  An 800 lbs gorilla was lifted off the opposing team while my guys suffered a collective punch to the stomach.  We still hadn’t recovered when the same player broke away and scored a second goal 32 seconds after the first.  8-2 with 1:20 on the clock and would remain the same as the clock crawled to 0:00.
 

Winning felt great.  It was nice to have a solid game and at least flirt with perfection into the waning moments of the game, but wasn’t to be (which is good for my credit statement as the guys haven’t enjoyed free beers on me in a while.)
 

I had mentioned earlier that for a goalie to be really noticed, they either have to be perfect or embarrassingly horrible.  As if to reinforce the thought, I checked the statistics listed online for Monday’s game.  They don’t even list my number.  I’m simply “G – Goalie”.
 

http://www.pointstreak.com/players/gamesheet_full.html?gameid=442310
 

Though few understand what makes us do it, we goaltenders take a certain pride in being overlooked.  Whether the back our necks are burned from the flashing red goal light in a blowout or shaking our head about the shutout that nearly was, there’s another opportunity for perfection with the next game.  Even if it’s only for a few moments, every goalie can bask in the glory of the big, amber “0” at the start of every game.
As goalie legend Vladislav Tretiak said, “There is no position in sport as noble as goaltending.”
 

 

Keep passing Canon Fodder to friends, coworkers and family.  We’ll see you back here tomorrow.
If you want to ask a question or make a comment, feel free to e-mail at jeff@canon-fodder.com.
 

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 27th, 2007 at 12:06 pm and is filed under Canon Fodder, Hockey, Jeffrey Petts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.