I’ve kept this under wraps for a week now so as not to jinx myself. Now it’s just hours short of liftoff and I feel confident in sharing this with you. My lovely wife and daughter will be boarding a plane in a matter of hours and heading to New York for the weekend.
And I won’t be joining them.
For the first time in the two-and-a-half years I’ve been happily married – and even more so, the eighteen months I’ve been a father – I’ll be free of nearly all responsibilities this weekend. With the exception of a wedding reception on Saturday night, I’ve got 72 hours of freedom. Total, complete, unadulterated freedom. No holds barred until I’m to pick the family up from the airport on Sunday evening.
So the question becomes, how am I going to spend the next three days?
That’s where you, the Canon Fodder reader, come into play.
My initial reaction was to play video games until my thumbs fell off. I could probably crank out 96 straight games of my baseball season on the PlayStation, but then it would be time to head back to the airport just as the video calendar was turning to October.
For a brief moment I even considered working my normal Friday and racking up some overtime on Saturday. Then my boss expressed his envy of my pending freedom and all but tacitly approved my missing work tomorrow.
Another option was a whirlwind tour of my old stomping grounds as I reacquainted myself with all the watering holes that had led to my spotted liver. Then I realized my wife and child are spending three days in Manhattan so my wallet will already be under a considerable amount of strain. Whatever I do will need to be relatively inexpensive.
Then I thought of you, my three or four loyal readers. Three days in the abyss would be a total joy for me but offer nothing in the way of productivity for Canon Fodder. I’m tempted to pen a running diary but Bill Simmons does that for all his big ESPN trips and I want to at least keep up the illusion of not being a complete hack. Besides, I would start drinking a bit too much one evening and suddenly find 24 hours had gone by without posting. Though I’m from the Tennessee Williams’ school of writing (which is to say drinking and late night writing go hand-in-hand), I need to stay somewhat coherent so beer is on the menu but gin and shots are out of the question. (Well, maybe not completely out.)
So if you’ve got a sporting event and an open tab, I’m your writer this weekend. Do you want to discuss the finer points of those remote bar trivia games on Thursday until last call? Let me know because I’m free. Friday afternoon viewing of a rerun UFC fight? I’m available. Dog fighting with an unnamed NFL quarterback? My schedule is wide open. Got a couple of gearhead friends nuzzling up to some lukewarm Natural Light Ice for a NASCAR race on Sunday? I’m ready to be indoctrinated.
The Blackberry will be working overtime this weekend so drop an e-mail to jeff@canon-fodder.com and I’ll peel open a bloodshot eye to give it a look. Those of you familiar with the bat phone should give it a call if you’ve got something you believe is worthy of Canon Fodder’s attention. I’ll look forward to your responses.
And may god have mercy on my liver.