When I saw the images of Joey Chestnut draped in an American flag on my television, I let out a bored sigh. When I realized the image was on ESPN News, I shuddered.
ESPN is an acronym for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network. This means not everything on the sports leader has to be about a major sport. I can accept the fishing shows that are neither entertaining nor a sport. ESPN’s recent decision to run Ultimate Fighting Championship highlights on SportsCenter might appeal to the lowest common denominator of sports fan, but barbaric or not, at least it’s a sport.
And now we have competitive eating. Are we really this starved for entertainment?
When Takeru Kobayashi burst onto the scene, he was little more than a novelty. A diminutive Japanese man with an unnatural ability to hoover tube steaks, “The Tsunami†had just enough persona to bring some life to the annual Nathan’s Famous contest. Since then, he’s become the top-ranked eater in the IFOCE. (Sadly, we live in a world with a need for an organization like the IFOCE.) Six years of continued dominance has propelled Kobayashi to Michael Jordan status. Days before the lastest competition, Kobayashi made public he had suffered a jaw injury during his training for the event. (That sentence is disturbing on at least three levels.) With the reigning champ on the ropes, it was time for a new champ to step forward and claim the crown, or in this case, the “Coveted Mustard Yellow Beltâ€.
For way too many Americans, the idea of a competition held annually on the Fourth of July featuring the most American of foods being mastered by a foreigner was too much to take. A rumble went out for a red-blooded American to step forward and take back what rightfully was ours. If we’re to be the most overweight nation on earth, let’s boast the most outrageous overeater. Who would be our next Mike Eruzione and upset the foreign juggernaut?
Enter Joey Chestnut.
Rookie of the Year in 2005, Chestnut was a relative unknown to those outside the world of competitive eating. To those within the tightknit community, Chestnut represented the Great White Hope. He had already defeated American eating legend Sonya Thomas twice in waffles but his battles versus Kobayashi had always left him in second place. Whether the medium was bratwurst or Krystal Burgers, The Tsunami continually proved his dominance.
But July 4, 2007 was different. Not only did Chestnut defeat a handicapped Kobayashi, he also managed to set a world record in the process. Sixty-six dogs and buns fell before the new champ.
And ESPN was there to cover it.
Of all the ridiculousness surrounding this lidicrous event, the one tidbit that bothered me the most is ESPN’s reluctance to cover the aftermath of the event. Near the end of the competition, not only did Kobayashi surrender his crown, he also tossed his cookies, or in this case, weiners.
I’m not a fan of grossout journalism but I do believe in a certain degree of consistency from a media outlet. I seem to recall ESPN was all over Donovan McNabb’s bout of nausea back in 2002. If the sports leader insists upon treating these fringe events as newsworthy, the potential for vomitting has got to be part of the story. If eating sixty hotdogs causes a world class “athlete†some digestional upheaval, well, ESPN has an obligation to show it.
I mean, if they want us to take this “sport†seriously.
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