Archive for November, 2007

Pistons-Bulls Tilt

Sunday, November 11th, 2007

By Freddy Cohen

November 8, 2007

Detroit Pistons (3-0) at Chicago Bulls (0-4) – United Center, Chicago, Illinois

Going back to the Jordan and Bad Boys days, these two teams have had it in for one another. Both franchises have had their fair share of success. This season brings high hopes for both squads. The Bulls believe they are now finally out of the post-23 wilderness and are poised to take a big step forward. Their winless start states otherwise. The undefeated Pistons are looking to put their Converses on the throat of their reeling foe. I’ll be making a half-hearted attempt at writing about the game while rooting for the Bulls and trying to avoid choking on Cheez Doodles.

The Bulls are in a hole already. They’re under pressure to win now with a lot of Kobe-to-the-Bulls talk and still do not have a go-to guy on offense. I don’t sense panic but perhaps an unhealthy amount of concern.

The Pistons don’t seem to respect Flip Saunders too much as a coach. He looks like he’s still the substitute teacher while Larry Brown is on sabbatical. And Flip always looks constipated. He has done well with Detroit during the regular seasons through his tenure.

Ben Wallace still looks out-of-place in a Bulls uniform. I have never seen such a coordinated player on defense look like Frankenstein on offense and at the charity stripe.

FIRST QUARTER
Tyrus Thomas starts the scoring off with a sensational dunk. He’s got tremendous athleticism but needs to learn the pro game. Ben Gordon received a second foul not even two minutes into the game. Stupid fouls are another example of how the Bulls have not taken the next step. Detroit added to the mess by being careless with the ball and committing a few quick turnovers early on. The Bulls have brought better energy tonight and are up 9-3 after only three minutes.

Kirk Hinrich, to me, is overrated. He runs hot and cold, dribbles too much and is not big enough to cover a lot of match-ups on defense. Rip Hamilton hit a nice jumper to get himself on the board and cut the Bulls’ lead to 13-6. His length always gives the Bulls smaller guards trouble. Hamilton is a carbon copy of Reggie Miller only with a horrific mask for the last several seasons. I would have thought his nose would have healed by now. The Bulls finally look like the team they hoped to be up 17-8 halfway through the first quarter.

I am still very concerned about D-Wade’s inability to get into Charles Barkley’s Fave 5. Maybe if he offered Chuck a Papa John’s Spiderman pizza, that could do the trick.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ui0lPUnBeyM[/youtube]

Chicago is getting some action down low which is unusual. Their reliance on outside shooting kills them when they turn cold. Rip is the only Piston heating up, hitting on a triple (18-11 Chicago). Rasheed Wallace is silent so far. It’s hard to tell he’s even in the game. Ben Wallace dribbling along the 3-point line. Time to pass.

Tyrus Thomas with a game high so far of 9 points including some impressive dunks. It looks like he’s tamed his game a bit to gain back some control over his considerable athleticism.

Craig Seger and his purple suit. Looks like he stole it from Prince. **adjusting the color on the television**

Ben Gordon turned down a 5 year, $50 million contract offer before the season. I am startled to hear this because, ironically, it matches the same offer I refused last year from the company I’m supposedly happy to work for as well.

Detroit quietly closing the gap to a trio of points (24-21). Luol Deng wakes up and hits a jumper to put the Bulls go up 5. Joe Smith off the Bulls bench. He’s been better than expected this season. A big improvement over PJ Brown who was in the same role last year. Rasheed, Billups and Rip Hamilton playing the entire first quarter. Tayshaun Prince has been invisible so far. Joakim Noah’s in the game and he looks like a good one. He has an attitude the Bulls could use… a bit of an edge. Hinrich misses a jumper to end the 1st. Good start for the Bulls, up 29-23 after one.

SECOND QUARTER
Both teams are shooting over 50% from the field. Game has good pace and limited fouls. The Bulls are +14 points in the paint tonight, which is highly unusual for them. They are a perimeter team to say the least. Andres Nocioni is in the game for Chicago. He’s a hard-working if unspectacular bench player. The trend of foreign players having big impact in the NBA is only growing.

Rasheed comes to life with a tough basket and one. Wallace (currently with 10 points and 3 rebounds) so he’s heating up as well. Noah’s shown a lot of energy off the bench going after loose balls. He was a back-to-back NCAA Champ at Florida and he does not look like he’s about to embrace losing.

Second teams in for both squads in large part. Both teams have good benches relative to the paucity of rest of the league. The Pistons defense doesn’t look up to speed. This is leading to a few easy Bulls baskets. The Chicago reserves have outscored Detroit 10-4 so far.

Joe Dumars has done not a good, but a great job of putting the Pistons together the last several years. They haven’t taken advantage of all their opportunities (The Human Victory Cigar) but they’re always in the mix. He manages to pull the right strings each year with acquisitions and have them in a position to succeed. However, to lose to Lebron last year was inexcusable. That was 1-on-5 action and Detroit still lost.

Chicago is flirting with a double-digit lead thanks to a Chris Duhan jumper. The Bulls have cornered the market on streaky, smallish guards. Scott Skiles, the Bulls coach, also looks constipated. I am beginning to be concerned about the digestive systems of both coaches. Are they getting enough fiber?

Bulls are beginning to rely on their jumpers again which usually spells trouble.

Lawd Almighty! A stat just flashed showing Flip Saunders is 120-47 in the regular season with Detroit. “Florida, that’s a Sunday meal!!” He could become the A-Rod of NBA coaches.

Scoring has slowed with Detroit down 44-34 halfway through the second quarter. Noah, again, providing a spark especially on the offensive boards. Hinrich flew out of bounds going after a loose ball and hurt his back. Good hustle.

Ad for Stephen King’s new movie “The Mist”. How can such a great writer makes such lousy movies? I still can’t understand why they don’t translate better. If you like him, try “The Stand”. I am a big fan of his and it is easily his best novel. It’s a modern classic. Great book made into another lousy movie.

Rasheed Wallace hitting the deck going after a loose ball as well and he follows it up with a smooth jumper (44-37 Chi). The Bulls have gone into the inevitable drought that they have had problems with the past few years when they start settling for jump shots. 7-2 Detroit run the past three minutes. The Pistons need to put a body on someone on the glass, especially Tyrus Thomas.

Tyrus Thomas misses an easy dunk. Pistons look a little out of sorts, a little flat. Maybe they’ve taken the Bulls lightly having beaten them in the playoffs last year and watching them start 0-4.

Pistons always wily, hanging around on a night when they are not at their best. Hamilton with a pair of free throws cuts the lead to three (48-45). Detroit’s a team that knows how to hang in when not at their peak. Chicago’s up 51-46 at the half.

THIRD QUARTER
The Bulls need to get back to their first quarter aggression of taking it to the hole and hitting the boards if they want to win this game. Ben Wallace has shown his highest energy level of the season so far.

It feels as if the Pistons are down by 15 but it’s only four (51-47). The Pistons are beginning to get frustrated as the Bulls D has tightened.

Rasheed answers by going inside himself and gets to the free throw line. Ben Gordon answers with an outside jumper. The Bulls fortunes go as Gordon goes much of the time. A Rasheed Wallace alley oop quiets the crowd. He’s still got hops. A Billups trey follows cutting things down to seven (63-56 Chicago). Hanging around… hanging around.

Bulls leading 11-2 in offensive rebounds. Another Billups 3-ball cuts the lead to six (65-59). Ben Gordon is taken out as a result of Billups’ surge. Tyrus Thomas flexing his muscle, hitting the basket consistently tonight. A serious block by Thomas on Richard Hamilton leads to a technical foul on Rip. Surprisingly, The Phantom of the Palace was second last year in the NBA for technical fouls (behind Rasheed Wallace which is no surprise).

Detroit zone on defense has slowed the Bulls down considerably. This has been a successful formula in stopping Chicago. Luol Deng having a quiet 11-point night. Tyrus Thomas is carrying the load. Rasheed jumper cuts the lead to one (70-69). Wallace is 9-of-15 from the field with 12 points in the third quarter. The Pistons have found the rhythm and the Bulls have gone into inconsistent mode. Hello 0-5.

With a Chauncey Billups pair of free throws, the Pistons have taken the lead 71-70 for the first time since the opening minutes of the game. Can the Bulls pull themselves together? If I were an opposing coach I would put in a zone the entire game and take my chances. Both teams know each other well and it normally leads to tight games. Tonight’s no exception. Hinrich quietly has amassed his eleventh assist. The Bulls creep back up on top by three at the end of the quarter, 78-75.

FOURTH QUARTER
What started off sloppy has become an entertaining and competitive game. I’m looking for Detroit to try to impose their will in the final period. Over the past few years the Pistons feel they can manhandle the Bulls and seem to have it in another gear when they need to. There’s a lack of respect that comes from not having lost meaningful games at the hands of these Bulls.

Rasheed Wallace game high 29 points so far. They have been a noisy 29 as well. Nocioni jumper puts the Bulls up 80-77. Joakim Noah all over the court with a nose for loose balls and rebounds. Maybe he learned some of that from his father, tennis great Yannick Noah. Richard Hamilton has cooled off after his hot start. Rasheed has been aggressive all game. His 32nd and 33rd points bring the Pistons to within one (82-81). His headband fell down to his neck—quite the fashion statement.

Enough with the Spiderman commercials, although the endless shrimp deal does look tasty.

26 assists and only 12 turnovers for the hometown team. The Bulls lead contracting and expanding all night. Up 88-82 with just over eight minutes left. Hamilton trying to back down the Bulls guards as he has a big size advantage. A Hamilton jumper forces Skiles to call a timeout with Chicago clinging to an 88-87 lead with 6:45 left.

Good news – I am now free to move about the country. Ding.

Deng’s got 17 points after a hard-fought put back inside. Tyrus Thomas with 18 and 13 boards. The Pistons defense is forcing the Bulls to get out of their offense. Deng’s looked uncomfortable all night. Bulls bench up 30-13 over the Pistons. Detroit needs Rasheed Wallace to continue forcing the issue. He’s all they’ve got running hot right now. Wallace with a turnaround (36 in the game), Bulls by three, 94-91, 3:11 left. Deng finally showing some aggression late in the game. He’s been criticized in Chicago for not being more of the go-to guy late in games. Ben Wallace has been on the bench for the entire quarter.

Hamilton drops in a clutch floater in the paint to bring the Pistons back to within one (94-93, 1:35 left) after collecting 2 offensive rebounds. Bulls tighten their defense late to force turnover. Tight Pistons defense brings rebound to Rasheed Wallace. Rasheed in-and-out shot off glass with :33 left. Chicago clinging to a one point lead. Can they hold on? Did I chew that last Cheez Doodle before swallowing? (Does my wife know the Heimlich?) Chicago no FG’s for over the last four minutes. Credit Detroit’s tough D for that.

Rasheed miss forces Pistons to foul. It becomes a foul shooting contest. Both teams are very good foul shooting teams. Chicago 96-93 with :13 left. Go for the trey if you’re the Pistons or try for a deuce and foul? Hamilton misses a wide-open 3-pointer (6-17 for the game from the field). Bulls hold on in a hard-fought game and finally put one to their division rival. Final: Bulls 97, Pistons 93. Now back to the Doodles.

Gambler’s Corner – Week 10

Saturday, November 10th, 2007

By Joe Moskwa, resident degenerate

It’s Week 10 already. Where does the time go? It seems like the preseason lasts a year while I’m DYYYING for Week 1 to get here, and now it’s Week 10. Only eight more Monday Night Footballs. Only seven more weeks of fantasy football. Well, only four more weeks for those of you that drafted Shaun Alexander, Rudi Johnson, Steven Jackson, and Matt Leinart. It’s also crunch-time for me in regards to making my picks for this week. I blew it on my first try on Canon Fodder going 6-8 ATS. Dallas and Pittsburgh kept it respectable with blowouts in the last couple games. And for the record, I will never make excuses for a bad week. I’ll admit when I was wrong. Week 9? **wincing** I was off.

Before I get to the picks, let’s cover a couple things. Some of you may be wondering why I’m making these picks. It’s not to help people gamble. It’s because every sports site and blog has the guy that makes picks. You know, I’ve always wanted to be a baseball player. That didn’t work out. Then I wanted to be the vice president of a large corporation. The dream lasted all of five glorious minutes. But what I’ve REALLY wanted is to be THE GUY making the picks on a website! And now it’s here and I’m barely keeping up with the groupies and fame that comes with such a title. I’m neck and neck with Mick Jagger this week – well, a story for another time. Before the picks, here are a couple of questions you may have asked yourself.

Where do the spreads come from? The spreads are courtesy of Bodog. This hyperlink will take you to what is, in my opinion, the best gambler’s website out there. Easiest to use and understand, bank and credit card-friendly, with a wide range of sports and games to choose from. Umm, or, so I’ve heard. Let’s move on.

How do you know your record ATS this year when Week 9 was your first week on Canon Fodder? It’s because I’m one of a group of fans that make picks against each other on a weekly basis and so far my record for the year is 74-56. Some would call this a POOL. But let’s just say it’s just for fun and there’s no money exchanged. There are over 100 of us picking weekly, and I’ve finished the majority of the last several years within the top 3 to the top 15. Not bad.

Okay, onto the picks. Week 10. Redemption week!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Jacksonville Jaguars (5-3) at Tennessee Titans (6-2) – Tennessee by 4
The Flaming Thumbtacks host the Boredomville Jaguars this week. Flaming Thumbtacks you say? Look at the Titans logo. It’s a tack. It’s on fire. I didn’t know tacks were flammable. Anyway, I’m sure Jeff Fisher loves the fact you hear NOTHING about his very solid 6-2 football team because of all the hype surrounding the Pats and Colts. I’m also sure he’s going to love beating the Jags by 7 this week. Borat says we should showcase this game on my big TV this Sunday. NOT! Sorry Jags, I will never watch you.
Pick: Tennessee -4

Denver Broncos (3-5) at Kansas City Chiefs (4-4) – Chefs giving 3
All I asked for last week was Tony Gonzalez to do a Lambeau Leap into the stands instead of dunking the football. So what does he do? He dunks the football. Wow Tony, how original. Think up that one all by yourself? What bag of tricks do you have for us this week? Lemme guess; you’re gonna dunk the football OVER the goalpost like it’s a basketball. Good one. Perhaps Priest will find the end zone. Perhaps I’ll pick some winners this week. Perhaps the Chiefs will win the AFC West? They take a big step here by beating the Broncos by 6. Oh, I didn’t mention anything about the boys from a mile high? That’s intentional because what’s the point?
Pick: Chiefs -3

Editor’s note: This is the second consecutive week I’ve slipped in “Chefs” rather than “Chiefs”. While this is really just a sly reference to the old Snickers commercial – “Great Googly Moogly” – I’m now up for a real world job as a writer/editor and intend to use Canon Fodder as my résumé. My worst fear is this obscure reference being mistaken for a glaring typo leaving me unemployed and my family hungry. So if you’re my soon-to-be new boss and you’re reading this aside and wondering why I would take this much time to cover my professional backside, it’s because I just couldn’t risk my entire future on whether you’re a television junkie with a penchant for remembering candy bar commercials. So here’s the reason why I so rudely interrupted Joe’s bid to satiate the gambling addicts and hijacked the article. **exhale**

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=hSAXLayoMKI[/youtube]

Buffalo Bills (4-4) at Miami Dolphins (0-8) – Ocean mammals getting 3
J.P. Losman is back. I like it. I hope the Bills realize how big this game is and they don’t get trapped. They’re hosting the Pats next week. They’re on a winning streak and have a chance to go over the .500 mark. Take care of business guys. Quick! Name any FIVE Miami Dolphins! **crickets chirping in the background, awkward silence, a tumbleweed rolls by** Bills by 7-10.
Pick: Buffalo -3

St. Louis Rams (0-8) at New Orleans Saints (4-4) – Katrina orphans by 12
Dear Rams,

You guys have had a rough first half so take a BYE on Week 9 and when you get back, we’ll start you off with… sending you down to Cajuntown to play arguably the hottest non-chowder-eating offense in the NFL. Touchdown Bush. Touchdown Colston. Touchdown Bush. Et cetera.

Sincerely,

Everything that’s unfair in the football universe

There’s gonna be some scoring here and I’m looking forward to having Torri Holt back in my fantasy lineup. The Rams will be passing all day playing catch-up. The Saints will score at least 35. Maybe more. Rams? I’d say about 28. Saints may only take it by 10.
Pick: St. Louis +12

Cleveland Browns (5-3) at Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) – Iron City drinkers by 10
I’ve got that SHOWCASE GAME feeling here. This will surely be one of the games I’m tuning in to watch. I’m enjoying the Browns this year. I also love watching the Steel Curtain defense. THIS is the game that will tell all about the Browns. Which story will unfold? Will it be a good story about the upstart Browns? Only time will tell. Or Joe will tell? Yes, he will. Steelers are too tough. This is a mismatch. Towel-wavers by a pair of touchdowns.
Pick: Pittsburgh -10

Atlanta Falcons (2-6) at Carolina Panthers (4-4) – Black cats giving 4

Oh boy. Please don’t make me talk about this game. The Falcons should just put all 11 defenders on Steve Smith. On the flip side, what should Carolina do to stop Atlanta’s All-Star offensive weapon? How about you guys let me know who that is and get back to me? I’ll be over here picking the other games while you’re thinking. Oh, I almost forgot; the most OVERRATED fantasy football player ever? Alge Crumpler.
Pick: Carolina -4

Philadelphia Eagles (3-5) at Washington Redskins (5-3) – Racial slurs by 3
I still haven’t figured out the ‘Skins this year. I’m starting to see a little life left in Philly though. And no, those weren’t Andy Reids’ kids with me at the bar on Monday. Anyway, the Eagles are gonna take this game outright or lose by 3 in overtime. You just don’t know which team is going to show. I’m not sure why Bodog has so many spreads without the half-points on them this week so I’m feeling some pushes coming on. This may be one of those games. I’m taking the Eagles though.
Pick: Philadelphia +3

Minnesota Vikings (3-5) at Green Bay Packers (7-1) – Cheeseheads by 6

I mentioned a couple of rules last week. I’m going to talk about another rule today. You see, when you’re picking or betting or whatever you call it, a lot of times there are trends to follow, a history to some of this stuff. Things besides your brain you can use to make picks. On a side note, I can give private lessons on how to function a whole day without using your brain. I remember a whole weekend once where I used my brain as a doorstop. Last Friday I couldn’t even remember where I put it the night before so I didn’t even find it until mid-afternoon. When it comes to picking games, I tend to leave my brain off to the side when the PACK is playing at HOME. Got that? Packers at Lambeau equals pick Green Bay. Every time. Do they win every time? Nope. Enough to where you should wager as if they do? Yep.
Pick: Take the Packers and give the half-dozen.

Cincinnati Bengals (2-6) at Baltimore Ravens (4-4) – Poe boys giving 4

Hey Ravens. Bang-up job on Monday night. I thought you guys were supposed to have a defense. Ben the Burger got fat at your expense. See what happens when you wear a helmet Benny? Touchdowns by the quintet. And Cincy… draft some defense next year. All defense. PLEASE. As for THIS game? Should I start Carson Palmer? Will he match Big Ben and toss five TDs? Or will those be INTs? I think INTs. Maybe a couple TDs if I’m lucky. Baltimore by 3. Something like 23-20.
Pick: Cincinnati +4

Detroit Lions (6-2) at Arizona Cardinals (3-5) – Vegas calls it a ‘pick’
The last time the Lions were 6-2 was in 1999. The sixth win was a thrilling victory over the eventual Super Bowl champions, the St. Louis Rams. How did they follow up their the victory? A road game at Arizona against a VERY average batch of redbirds. Following their disappointing history, the Lions lost en route to a 2-6 slide in the second half of the season. But these are the NEW Lions. They are. I’m saying it. It’s just what I see. This game? It’s interesting to watch on TV when the Lions go out there because you see TONS of Detroit jerseys in the stands. Those are all the people that moved from the D to Phoenix. I have a buddy that did the same thing. I bet he’s reading this. (He should be. He’s Canon Fodder’s benefactor.) Unfortunately, he’s also one of those REAL Lion fans. He thinks they’re going to win the Super Bowl every year just like every other glutton-for-punishment diehard Lions fan. He’s the epitome. It’s pathetic really. He was over a few years ago on one of my big football days with the Lions on the main TV (I was focused on a completely different – more entertaining – game) and the Lions had the contest in their hands. It was all but over. They were up by more than a figgie with less than a minute to go. I think it was Culpepper under center for the Minnesota. I kept telling them it was over, the Vikes were gonna score, they’re gonna score, stop celebrating. Did he listen? Friends, they NEVER listen. Touchdown. Ballgame. G’nite. TOLD YA. One of my remote controls came flying and hit me in the back. Yeah, he actually THREW the remote at me like it was MY fault. Like I’m the one allowing the drive to happen. Folks, it was the Lions. That’s what they do. The Lions are like the drunken uncle you have that spends half the year in jail and the other half coming to Thanksgiving and other family holidays, puking on the carpet and passing out on the lawn. But a year later, you think Uncle Frank is gonna stay out of jail and show up to dinner sober, carve the turkey, hug everyone and leave after a fun game of Pictionary and dessert. But he’s back in-and-out of jail and for Christmas Eve dinner he pees in the laundry hamper and collapses in the hallway. And you’re actually SURPRISED and DISSAPOINTED he did it again. Why? Because you’re a LIONS FAN. That’s YOU, my friend. But this is your lucky year. You will be smiling on Sunday when the Lions win by 4. They’re the new Lions. It’s just what I see.
Pick: LIONS.

Chicago Bears (3-5) at Oakland Raiders (2-6) – Teddies by 3.5
C’mon Raiders. I talk you up, pick you to beat the Texans, and you blow it. I hope Devin Hester goes Tecmo on you guys and scores four Touchdowns. One punt return, one kick return, one interception return and one reception for six. But I’ll have to hear about it later because there ain’t no way I’m watching this game. But it IS about time Justin Fargas got a shot to be THE MAN. He deserved a shot at Michigan, got a little time at USC, and now the Raiders are FINALLY going to give him some carries. GOOD! Still, Bears by 7
Pick: Chicago –3.5

Dallas Cowboys (7-1) at New York Giants (6-2) – Kennedy assassins giving 2.5
Here it is Eli. You got a late-afternoon stage with the favorite to take the NFC title. You’re a home DOG. Biggest game of the year. Sure you don’t call every play at the line and have a Super Bowl ring, but this is where it all starts for you. Take it to the ‘Boys this weekend and earn yourself your OWN commercial. Romo gets sacked at least three times as the Giants win a thriller. I’d like to see overtime. Giants by 3.
Pick: New York +2.5

Sunday Nightcap

Indianapolis Colts (7-1) at San Diego Chargers (4-4) – Bolts getting 4
Yes, Peyton had a tough day last week, but he’s still THE MAN. Who else walks up to the line without a huddle, yells out 472 signals and gets a first down? Every time. And he even doles out advice. I was talking to him the other day and complaining about my beer gut. He told me that even though I WANTED rock-hard abs, it probably wasn’t going to happen because I’m not 23 or a Pro Football Player. He said to buy bigger shirts. It made sense. And as for the Chargers… Norv Turner –Marty Shottenheimer is your daddy because you make him (and his playoff failures) look good. Dude, you’ve got the SAME TEAM that went 14-2 last year and now you’re treading water at 4-4? Nice work, man. And now you can star on that show MY TWO DADS because Peyton will be your daddy as well on Sunday. Oh, P.S…. thanks for making the first time I drafted LT the year he’s no longer a difference maker. Any chance you can get the most talented running back in the league into the end zone a couple times this week? I mean, I know you’ve only spent your whole life as an offensive coordinator, so I should cut you some slack. Indy by 3.
Pick: San Diego +4

Monday Night

San Francisco 49ers (2-6) at Seattle Seahawks (4-4) – Techie geeks by 10
Did you guys see the look on Holmgren’s face last week when the ‘Hawks didn’t convert that fourth-and-one in overtime? No, you didn’t because the Indy-Pats game was on. But, of course, I had multiple TVs going and I’ve never seen a look like that before. His head looked like a tomato about to explode in a microwave. And what was I thinking at that exact moment? I sure feel bad for whatever team has to play the Seahawks next week. Seattle 31, Niners 17. Odds that I fall asleep in the bar during this game: 2-to-1. Is Shaun Alexander still in the NFL?
Pick: Seattle –10

Back next Friday. Out.

NBA Preview: Part I – The East

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

By Freddy Cohen

(Editor’s note: In Canon Fodder’s continuing mission to deliver sports comedy on a consistent basis, we’ve added a new writer to the growing staff. Enjoy the ramblings of a Coney Island native wallowing in the Windy City, Freddy Cohen.)

Barely a week into the new NBA season is a good time to check on the Association. First things first – this is not your grandmama’s Eastern Conference. The East is a new and shiny model that handles better than last year. Not up to the S-Class that is the Western Conference by any stretch of the imagination, but you can see the balance of power shifting ever so slightly from the Pacific.

ATLANTIC
Everyone’s darling is the Boston Celtics these days. Not so fast I say. Time will test the glorious trio of Garnett-Allen-Pierce. On paper it looks sweet. In reality they each have lots of tread off their tires and their teammates do not instill fear in anyone. It is a great nucleus on top for the first 50 games of the season. However, the Celts need to play 82 plus win 4 post-season series to win it all – that’s a long road with guys long in the tooth.

The same case can be stated regarding the New Jersey Nets. I am not sold on their top trio either when it comes to going the distance. Jason Kidd is one of the best point guards in the game. His court vision, spurred by the presence of Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson is formidable. Will Vince Carter earn his keep and go to the hole after February when his legs tire? However, I have seen this show before. It ends with no rings as it does every year in New Jersey. I’ll take it a step further and say it won’t even end in a playoff berth for the Nets. Their coach is on the hot seat as well.

I like the Toronto Raptors spearheaded by Chris Bosh. He’s a smooth 7 footer that, given time, can lead the Raptors into the deeper portion of the playoffs, and not just this year. They are on the right track but still in the slow lane.

The Knicks would be better if Isiah were at point guard rather than coach. With all their issues they have proven more interesting in the courtroom than on the court. I can hear Jim Mora now. Playoffs? Playoffs?

The trade of Allen Iverson was said to be the undoing of the Philadelphia 76ers. It would not be the first time a disgruntled character made things better by their disappearance. I saw them versus Bulls the other night and they are better than advertised. Coach Mo Cheeks has the team playing hard with good D. They’re going to be more competitive than you think.

CONCLUSION – Boston is the class of the division. The Raptors are on the come, while New Jersey lives off the reputation of their big three. Isiah and “Starbury” consider it a successful year by staying away from the bondsman.

CENTRAL
On paper this should be a really good division with Pistons, Cavs and Bulls all fighting it out for supremacy. However, there are chinks in this division’s armor.

The Detroit Pistons are the old guard. It has become commonplace for them to ascend to the top of the conference standings but for all the fanfare they have won it all only once and have slipped from finals- to conference finals-level play. It will still be hard to unseat them not because they are so superior but because there is no other team in the division ready to knock them over and stay there. It’s getting closer though.

The backcourt of Hamilton and Billups is still one of the best in the NBA. Savvy and cocksure, they play well off each other. The underrated Tayshaun Prince provides great defense, but in my view they still miss Ben Wallace providing the last line of defense in the middle. He was the perfect fit in Detroit and although he is stinking it up at the United Center these days, his shortcomings were camouflaged brilliantly while in the Motown.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are a one-hit wonder in multiple ways. They have arguably the best talent in the NBA in Lebron James. His supporting cast should not have been good enough last year to make it to the finals, reminiscent of AI during his 76ers finals run several years ago. With the rest of the East improving and the Cavs not, they will slip back to the middle of the pack.

The Bulls had high hopes before the season and were considered a chic pick by many to go to the NBA Finals. An 0-4 start has dampened spirits in Chicago. When will they get a low post scorer? Kobe to the Bulls talk is rampant, but do the Lakers want what the Bulls have been cooking so far? Same problems-different season.

Milwaukee and Indiana bring up the rear in the Central. Yi is the new look on the Bucks. Michael Redd is one of the most underrated players in the NBA, but for the Bucks it is a nickel short and a day late to compete this season.

Same is true for the Pacers who are still looking to trade Jermaine O’Neal but have not found the right offer until now. Maybe L-Bird can suit up at least to bolster attendance and spirits in Hoosier-Land.

CONCLUSION – Pistons are still the class but are slowly coming back to the pack. Bulls and Cavs are the upstarts that think they both can make it to the finals. (Not happening for either this season.)

SOUTHEAST
A three horse race that is intriguing on paper but begs the question, can old and young alike withstand the rigors of an 82-game season? (That’s why they play the games.)

Although I do not think the Miami Heat will win the division, I do think they have the best chance of the Southeast teams to win the conference. Any time you have D-Wade and Shaq in the lineup with the Slickster calling the plays, you have a puncher’s chance. The question is the health of all of them. Dwayne Wade first and foremost needs to prove he has the physical presence to withstand 82 games and then the rigorous postseason. He is an awesome talent… a championship talent as proven a couple of years ago. What about Shaq? A fourth ring two years ago showed he still had the goods post-Kobe, but a sweep last year at the hands of the Bulls may have proven his time of dominance are over. He needs to be strong down the stretch for them to have any chance. Riley looks tired on the sidelines as he may be realizing his brainchild may have seen its best day in Miami.

The up and comer in the division is the Orlando Magic. I think Dwight Howard is a future MVP but it’s still a little early in his career to lead a team to the Promised Land.

The most overrated team in the East may be the Washington Wizards. I do not like the chemistry of this team. Too many guys opting to take too many shots for my liking. Where’s the D? Agent Zero – you’re not kidding. Not happening in DC.

Atlanta and Charlotte; both are interesting cities with fattening yet tasty cuisine.

CONCLUSION – Orlando heads the class during the regular season. However, a healthy D-Wade and Shaq can whip up on anyone when healthy in the East.

EASTERN CONFERENCE PLAYOFF PREDICTION

  • Boston (1) – def Miami (8)
  • Orlando (2) – def Washington (7)
  • Cleveland (5) – def Toronto (4)
  • Detroit (3) – def Chicago (6)
  • Boston (1) – def Detroit (3)
  • Orlando (2) – def Cleveland (5)

Eastern Conference Finals……

  • Boston (1) – def Orlando (2)

Boston, riding their big three, has enough to hold off this year’s upstarts, the Orlando Magic in 6 tough games leaving the Celtics as your Eastern Conference Champions.

Coming soon: NBA PREVIEW: Part II – The West