Archive for December, 2007

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Hunting and Camaraderie: Part III

Monday, December 10th, 2007

Desperation, Closure, and Hope

By Craig Dumas

There comes a time where once you were cruising along spending time in the woods enjoying yourself, camp, friends, and family when all of a sudden it dawns on you what day it is and how much longer you have before the trip home. This is when the panic mode sets in and you’re desperately trying to spend every last minute out there thinking – hoping – something will come along in your range of sight. This is when I spend the most of my time trying to figure out the best trick shots feasible and how to manage these shots while making the best and most humane kill. I have done this in the past drilling a deer in the front shoulder which just so happened to slice the lungs as well. A good, clean kill is the goal and henceforth should be at the top of one’s list when contemplating these shots. I have also vividly imagined a shot thru the back of the skull when one is walking straight away from me. That is how desperate I become when my departure day approaches. Nevertheless, all this mental preparation is for naught as the last few days are on an equal plain to the previous days as deer continue to hide. Thus the grumpy and grinch-type mood returns to my person as another year comes and is gone.

So how does one face closure and keep the hope, the yearning for the following year available in the minimal space left in my exhausted mind? Well, it all starts on the drive home when I get started making the mental food list I spoke of in a previous post. A portion of the drive is spent being thankful all went well in the camp. The generator ran like a champ everyday without error. Everyone showed up that said they would. The meals were a delight. The trailer performed magnificently. The weather even cooperated for the most part. It is also helpful to see the empty beds of pickups on the way home making me feel like I wasn’t the only one unsuccessful. At least one of the guys in our camp was fortunate enough to down a deer. We are always hopeful for a few more hanging but something is better than nothing thus keeping that glimmer of hope alive for the next season.

It’s this endless hope that drives us back into the woods year after year. The tradition, the camaraderie, the meals (especially the meals), and the urge – the drive – knowing there are animals out there just taunting us to come back and try to figure out their routine long enough to catch the ‘dumb one’ daring enough to appear in our sights for that anticipated shot ringing out through the silence. I think it is the silence that drives you crazy in the end. It’s the silence that makes you believe napping is okay because you’re sure that upon awakening, you’ll be delightfully greeted by a number of parading deer. It’s the silence that makes you sit there day after day just itching for an excuse to dirty your rifle. This, my friends, is what eleven-and-a-half months every year is worth waiting for.

 

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Gambler’s Corner: Week 14

Friday, December 7th, 2007

By Joe Moskwa


Yet another embarrassing week. 6-10 and 104-83 for the season. When we had a glitch and the article wasn’t posting, I was almost relieved. But now you all saw my picks, YIKES. I was positive the Dolphins would avoid a winless season and knock off the Jets. But the Jets brought it. And teams are GUNNING for the Pats now as their games are getting closer. I’m not so sure about 16-0 now. These up-and-down teams of 2007 are also making me crazy. Titans, Bengals, Bills, Skins, Bears, Giants, Seahawks, Eagles, Chargers, Texans, Browns, 49ers, Panthers, Broncos, and Saints, what is going ON guys? You make up a VERY inconsistent group.


Oh, there was a game last night. Around lunchtime yesterday I was giving an opportunity to work from about 9:30pm until about 11:30pm. I paused, checked the game schedule for last night, and I found it was Redskins-Bears. YUP, see you at work. So I missed it. I’m sure most of you did too. But I did find out that Todd Collins is still in the NFL. What is THAT about? I had no clue. He’s on a bench somewhere, yet Vinny Testaverde and Joey Harrington still get snaps. Yeah that makes sense.


Let’s make some picks.


 

Carolina Panthers (5-7) at Jacksonville Jaguars (8-4) – Jags giving 11

I never know who Carolina’s QB is going to be and I never know which team is going to show up. But I do have a question – is the quarterback talent pool in the Unites States so thin that we STILL have to watch Vinny Testaverde play? RETIRE! Is Vinny the last remaining member of the Super Tecmo Bowl QB group still playing? Jags are gonna wipe the field with the Panthers flag.

PICK: Jacksonville –11


Dallas Cowboys (11-1) at Detroit Lions (6-6) – Kitties getting 11.5

Coach Marinelli of the Lions was on the radio the other day. He said something along the lines of how the Cowboys should bring the best out of the Lions and a win over the Cowboys should boost them into a momentum streak. Something along those lines.

Sure coach, lemme know how that works out for you. Cowboys can probably call that “60 stretch far – laaa – yawwwwn” play and still score this Sunday.

PICK: Cowboys ALL DAY LONG (-11.5)


Miami Dolphins (0-12) at Buffalo Bills (6-6) – Bills by 7.5

Knock knock. Who’s there? Owen. Owen who? Owen thirteen. Bills by 10.

Hey coach Shula, how are things going this December for you? Hope you have a great Christmas.

PICK: Buffalo –7.5


New York Giants (8-4) at Philadelphia Eagles (5-7) – McNabb’s Mob giving 3.5

Here we go. Time to flip a coin. Actually, let’s see. Eagles just lost, Giants just won, so, I guess we go with the Eagles here. By a figgie. Expect to see that super-agitated/ticked-off/confused look on Coach Coughlin’s face on Sunday.

PICK: G-men and the points


Oakland Raiders (4-8) Green Bay Packers (10-2) – Black & Silver getting 10.5

Hey an easy one. Packers at Lambeau in cold weather. Would Brett Favre be in Super Tecmo Bowl if that game didn’t just have the top 2 QBs on each team? I think he was a third-stringer the year that game came out. Have I mentioned this was the greatest football video game ever made?  (Have you noticed I would rather talk about an 8-bit video game than this actual match-up?)

PICK: Cheeseheads –10.5


San Diego Chargers (7-5) at Tennessee Titans (7-5) – Bolts by 1.5

This should be a tough one to pick but the Chargers are going to frustrate Vince Young all day and take this one by a touchdown or more.

PICK: San Diego –1.5


St. Louis Rams (3-9) at Cincinnati Bengals (4-8) – ‘Gals by 6.5

This one should be fun to watch. A battle of two teams with nice offenses, yet both are going nowhere. Injuries played a big part of that, but they are getting healthy enough to make this game WAY more watchable than most. I’ll be tuning in. Bengals by a trey.

PICK: St. Louis +6.5


Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-4) at Houston Texans (5-7) – Bucs by 2.5

I love consistency. A lot. It’s one of my favorite things besides football, money, beer, and skirts. This is why I love this year’s Bucs. They quietly plug along as a very solid and sturdy team. Houston? You will lose. By six.

PICK: Tampa –2.5


Arizona Cardinals (6-6) at Seattle Seahawks (8-4) – ‘Hawks spotting 6.5

I hope it doesn’t rain on Sunday. I’ve spent some time in Seattle around this time of year, and yeah, it rains. Which we all know. If it stays dry though, this will be another big game from an entertainment standpoint. Kurt is one of the most interesting players to watch this year. No Boldin last week? No Fitz? No problem. Impressive, can’t wait for this one. Seahawks win by three or four.

PICK: Cards +6.5


Minnesota Vikings (6-6) at San Francisco 49ers (3-9) – Vikes by 8.5

If the Vikings lose this one, they should just forfeit the rest of their games. Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor are the best 1-2 RB combo in the NFL right now. They SHOULD plow all over the Niners on Sunday. SHOULD. Will they? Yup. By 10 points. Or more

PICK: Vikes –8.5


Cleveland Browns (7-5) at New York Jets (3-9) – Browns by 3.5

The Browns REALLY need this one. I’ll be tuning in. Well, I ALWAYS tune in to see Jamal, Braylon, Kellen, and Derek. I’m borderline man-crushing, so I’d better go crack some beer cans (maybe BROWN ale?) over my head or go play with a ratchet set or something, and quick.

PICK: Browns -3.5


Kansas City Chiefs (4-8) at Denver  Broncos (5-7) – Broncs by 6.5

So we get to have an exhibition game in the snow this year. Why don’t you guys just take the afternoon off and have tea and cakes by the fire?

PICK: Chefs and the 6.5 points


Pittsburgh Steelers (9-3) at New England Patriots (12-0) – Pats giving 10.5

This is usually right about when our yearly “possible 16-0 team” takes a dive. The writing is on the wall for this one, however something tells me the Pats are going to keep this unpredictable season going as is by winning yet again. I’d look like a hero to pick the Steelers straight-up and get it right, but I’m not quite feeling it. I say Pats by six.

PICK: Steelers + 10.5


 

Sunday Night

Indianapolis Colts (10-2) at Baltimore Ravens (4-8) – Colts giving 9.5

Colts haven’t covered since around Halloween. Things like this make it possible to not have to think sometimes. It’ll be cold in Baltimore, and these teams are not fond of each other. Colts more than a figgie, but less than a TD.

PICK: Poe’s Boys and the +9.5 points


Monday Night
New Orleans Saints (5-7) at Atlanta Falcons (3-9) – Dirty Birds getting 4.5

NOW what am I going to watch on TV this Monday night? Hopefully they’ll have a good hockey game on one of the side TVs or something. Anyone want to help me drown my sorrows in Guiness beers at Roger’s Roost this Monday? And how do the Falcons get TWO Monday Night games this year?

PICK: Aints minus 4.5

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Gambler’s Corner: Week 13

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

By Joe Moskwa


Editor’s note: Joe had this written and submitted on-time but being at Walt Disney World has made it difficult for yours truly to get online. Uncle Walt doesn’t give ANYTHING away for free. Because of that, Joe’s wonderful article was posted well after Week 13 was completed. Don’t blame the writer. Crucify the editor.


Gambler’s Corner returns. I’m still hoping we can call this the NFL PICKS CORNER instead, or something of the sort. This isn’t entirely all about the gambling. And if one WERE to place a wager on each NFL game, each week, one would drive himself insane. Now even though I missed the last couple weeks, I ended up going 7-6 in Week 11, and 9-5 last week. This puts me at an un-Joe-like 98-73 for the season. Sure, a winning record, however it’s mostly helped by a couple of big weeks.


Editor’s note: Gambler’s Corner has a bit more of a ring to it. If the masses can think of a better column title, send them to joe(at)canon-fodder.com.

But before I address the Week 13 picks, I’d like to talk about crutches. Not the kind that help you walk when you break your leg. The other kind. The crutches you fall back on, like habits. The things you look forward to, those things that get you through the week. We all have them. We all work long hours and much of our time is put towards the most serious and important aspects of our lives. Our children, our work, our homes, our bills, etc. And then we all have that ONE thing that gets us through. For myself, well, I can’t list all of mine. But my MAIN thing, besides the kids and all that stuff, is my friends at the NFL. Every Sunday all the problems go away. I get to spend a good 11 hours with my buddies Peyton, Brett, Carson, Terrell, LaDainian, among many others. It’s almost a disease, and many have told me I have a problem. But that’s their opinion. It doesn’t bother me. But when we lose a fellow member like Sean Taylor, we’ll surely be feeling it this Sunday. I actually feel it right now. Sean should still be here, and some of us need to find better things to do than harm others.


Onto a bittersweet round of picks.



Thursday Night

Green Bay Packers (10-1) at Dallas Cowboys (10-1) – ‘Boys by 6.5

So I get to watch the NFC Championship game tonight, on a Thursday! For those of you that don’t have the NFL Network, well, I’m sorry to hear it. Send me a text when you need a game update. Or you could swing by my house. But you have to bring either chicks that don’t talk during the game, or beer. Or both. And did I mention I can’t WAIT for this game?? I don’t care who wins, this is for pure entertainment tonight. Oh, I almost forgot. Does someone want to cover T.O.? Anyone? Maybe get a body near this guy? There never seems to be a defender in sight when this guy just waltzes into the end zone two or three times a game. Anyway, I’d take the points here. Cowboys buy about 4 or 6.

PICK: Cheeseheads + 6.5



Atlanta Falcons (3-8) at St. Louis Rams (2-9) – Rams by 4.5
Jeez, do they need to even play this game? Rams should draft OT Jake Long of the University of Michigan next year. Falcons should do whatever they need to do to NOT have Joey Harrington as their QB next year. Steven Jackson will have a day on Sunday as the Rams take this by 10-13.

PICK: Take the Rams and give the points –4.5


Buffalo Bills (5-6) at Washington Redskins (5-6) – Racial slurs giving 5.5

I’m not comfortable picking this game. I’m fully confident where to place my pick. It’s not that. Just doesn’t seem right. I feel for the Skins and it’s gonna be tough. You guys are all bigger men than me for being able to take the field Sunday. Just do your best guys.

PICK: Bills +5.5


Detroit Lions (6-5) at Minnesota Vikings (5-6) – Vikes by 3.5

It’s about time the Lions are finally going to fall out of the playoff. 6-2 a couple of weeks ago and now about to disappear into a tie for last place with their division buddies on the up-and-up and the pussycats dying. Adios ladies. But they may cover. Big deal. Vikings win a close one.

PICK: Motorcity kitties getting the figgie-and-a-half


Houston Texans (5-6) at Tennessee Titans (6-5) – Cattlemen getting 4.5

Hey Vince, nice job around the goal line last week. What’d you take, 15 snaps within the Bengal’s 5-yard line last week? 20 snaps? Zero Touchdowns? Run one in or something for the life of me! I know you can run, I’ve seen it. Well, I won’t be seeing you this Sunday though. There’s just not much appeal to tune in here. For the record, this division always plays each other tough. I usually take the points in this division. Same with the next game. Titans by 3 on Sunday.

PICK: Texans and the points


Jacksonville Jaguars (8-3) at Indianapolis Colts (9-2) – Colts by 7.5

It almost looks like the Colts don’t even care about anything until they make that January 2008 trip to New England. Should they care this Sunday? Of course they should. Will they? I assume so. I expect a close one. Colts by no more than 6. Should be a good game, but Jacksonville is still boring so I may not watch.

PICK: Jags getting the touchdown plus


New York Jets (2-9) at Miami Dolphins (0-11) – Jets giving 2.5

I expect the Pats to 16-0 this year. Sounds like an easy thing to predict but it’s still harder than it looks, even for this year’s Pats. With that being said, the Dolphins will NOT go 0-16. I’m sure they know this Sunday is their best chance to prevent a winless season. They pull out all the stops and beat the Jets by 3.

PICK: Fish –2.5


San Diego Chargers (6-5) at Kansas City Chiefs (4-7) – Bolts by 5.5

Kansas City is almost the Green Bay of the, well, the dead center of the country. This is in regard to their stellar historical home record as the colder and later into the season it gets. But they are stacked with rookies and the games just keep getting bigger and bigger for San Diego. While I cringe at the thought of betting on a Norv Turner team, I gotta say that the Chargers take this one. LT may take over but it won’t be a rout. Chargers by less than a TD.

PICK: Chefs and the +5.5


Seattle Seahawks (7-4) at Philadelphia Eagles (5-6) – ‘Hawks getting 3.5

This is a matchup of the two head coaches that look the same. No, not Tony Dungy and Herm Edwards, but Andy Reid and Mike Holmgren. Additionally, this is a matchup with potential for that huge letdown week. Eagles JUST missed knocking off the Pats. Will they suffer the letdown? They could, but they won’t. The Seahawks are good at LOOKING good in that crummy division they play in. The Birds win this one. Actually, I GUARANTEE the birds win this one. As for the spread—

PICK: Take Philly and give the points


San Francisco 49ers (3-8) at Carolina Panthers (4-7) – Black cats by 3.5

Here’s another doozie. Or more aptly, a snoozie. I wonder if I can get a few bucks taken off of my Direct-TV bill if I promise not to watch a couple of the games this weekend. As for the pick, the 49ers seemed to have solved the problem of not being able to even get a first down for a couple of games. Not bad last week. 49ers win by 3.

PICK: San Francisco +3.5


Cleveland Browns (7-4) at Arizona Cardinals (5-6) – Browns by 1.5

Here we go. I believe this is a 4:00pm EST kickoff. I sure hope so. Can’t wait for this one either. Three hours with Jamal, Kellen, Kurt, Larry Fitz, Anquan, and Braylon. Does Sunday afternoon television get any better than this? Browns win in a shootout by 4.

PICK: Cleveland –1.5


Denver Broncos (5-6) at Oakland Raiders (3-8) – Horses by 3.5

Dear AFC West,

Thank you for wasting one of the AFC playoff spots this year with one of your cruddy records.

Love,

The guy who would rather watch Golden Girls reruns than your games.

Oakland wins just because this division makes no sense. Can we eliminate it?

PICK: Oakland +3.5


New York Giants (7-4) at Chicago Bears (5-6) – Giants by 1.5

Remember when the Giants were ranked as a top-5 team in the NFL? It was like a month ago. Now they’re going Detroit Lions on us. The worst thing in the world for Eli Manning is that his brother is Peyton Manning. If his name was Eli Carr or Eli Harrington he’d be a stud. Oh well. Pick one of the best spread teams in the NFL as of late here, DA BEARS. They’ll win outright.

PICK: Teddy bears +1.5


Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-4) at New Orleans Saints (5-6) – Bucs giving 3

Which Saints team shows up this Sunday? They’re the Vikings of the south. I really think they have two different teams that take turns playing. Here’s a betting tip for you: DON’T bet on this game. But since I’m required to pick one…

PICK: Their consistency dictates the Bucs giving the figgie


Sunday Night
Cincinnati Bengals (4-7) at Pittsburgh Steelers (8-3) – Steelers by 7.5

Chad. Dude. You guys kinda blow this year. The TDs you scored last week were your first since summertime. What business do you have going to camera and getting a celebration penalty after scoring? I dare you to hand the next ball to the ref and jog to the sideline. That’s if, you score again. Won’t be THIS Sunday. You’ll lose by 13.

PICK: Pittsburgh –7.5


Monday Night
New England Patriots (12-0) at Baltimore Ravens (4-7) – Poe boys getting 20.5

So do the Patriots get EVERY Sunday Night or Monday Night game now? I mean, we already know what’s going to happen with them, why don’t we just bury them into a 9am start every Sunday and enjoy the remaining unpredictability? This one should be over about 20 minutes into the game. I can’t imagine how Baltimore can even get into double digits on Monday. Oh, yeah, Tom Brady, why all the funny hats? Two weeks ago it was the cab driver cap, last week the Navy style knit hat. Cut it out.

PICK: New England –20.5


Tune back in next Friday for another edition of the Gambler’s Corner on Canon Fodder.

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