Archive for the ‘Auto Racing’ Category

Quick Hitters

Friday, May 4th, 2007

Western Conference eighth seed Golden State Warriors toppled the top seed Dallas Mavericks in six games.
What’s more disappointing for league MVP Dirk Nowitzki at this point: getting bounced in the first round or actually winning the MVP and the avalanche of criticism that’s about to follow for disappearing in the playoffs?

Much-heralded Tim Lincecum is rumored to be making his major league debut on Sunday night for the San Francisco Giants.
4-0, 0.29 ERA, 46 strikeouts, 11 walks in 31 innings. That’s Lincecum’s stat line with the Triple-A Fresno Grizzlies. Between his nasty “stuff” and his deceptive delivery, there are a lot of expectations riding on Lincecum. My fantasy team is giddy with anticipation of his arrival. Here’s a look at his unorthodox delivery. Note how the hitters seem to have no clue where the ball is coming from. http://youtube.com/watch?v=3DeC8PSgm6M.

Brady Quinn’s precipitous fall in the first round of the NFL Draft last Saturday might have deprived his bank account of nearly $20 million.
Nobody was more disappointed than Brady’s girlfriend. The poor guy is falling like a stone through the draft ranks, losing bonus money with each declining pick all-the-while on two national networks and his better-half looked like she was ready to flee the building. Here’s a link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=2V5pIBJW8j4.

Twelve fans were arrested at Talladega Superspeedway on Sunday for disorderly conduct during a NASCAR race. The president of the racetrack has requested the dozen fans be banned from all NASCAR events for throwing objects on the track.
A mix of folks from Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina and Florida could be banned from all NASCAR events? Why not just go and takeaway cheap beer and incest to completely douse their will to live?

Despite the heroics of goalie Roberto Luongo, the Vancouver Canucks were knocked out of the playoffs by the Anaheim Ducks.
A save percentage of .941 wasn’t enough to keep the Canucks in the playoffs? In their seven playoff losses (five of which were by a single goal), Vancouver managed a grand total of six goals. So how is this any different from when Luongo suffered between the pipes for the Panthers?

Golf Digest released a list of the top golfers from the world of sports (other than golf, of course).
Dallas Stars Mike Modano and Marty Turco rank 47 and 121 respectively. Luckily their first round ouster from the playoffs will allow them more opportunity to work on climbing the rankings for their favorite pastime.

The New York Yankees are about to become the first MLB team in history to use 10 different starters through 30 games.
As an unabashed Yankee-hater, watching phenom Phil Hughes tweak his hammy in the midst of a no-hitter tickled my sense of Schadenfreude. The idea of nearly $200 million in payroll floundering at the bottom of the standings makes me feel warm inside. The Yankee solution? Whack the “performance enhancement” coach. Sit back and enjoy folks, we’ve got all summer to watch the wheels come off this bus.

(Of course, the Yankee front office will counter by outspending every other team between now and the trade deadline to reinsert themselves into the playoff race and ruin another summer for baseball fans with any semblance of a soul.)

Randy Moss is a New England Patriot.
This deal was six months too late in the making. When the Pats were something like $7 million under the cap and in desperate need of a weapon to compliment Tom Brady, the Raiders were openly shopping Randy Moss for fifty cents on the dollar. Considering how close the Pats-Colts battle was in January, does anyone think Moss might have had an impact on that game? Me neither. Better late than never, I guess.

Canon Fodder keeps growing and you can help by passing us on to friends and family. Have something you want to say? E-mail me at jeff@canon-fodder.com.

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Odds and Ends

Wednesday, April 4th, 2007

The Detroit Tigers lost to the Toronto Blue Jays on the day they hung the American League Championship banner.

It’s just one loss so there’s nothing to get worked up about but my fantasy baseball team isn’t going to survive very long if my “keeper” shortstop continues to go 0-for-5 as Carlos Guillen did on Opening Day. Just six more months of living and dying with the daily box score. (I love baseball season.)

Rumors are circulating that Pacman Jones might be looking at an extended suspension from the NFL Commissioner’s Office.

Does anyone believe sending Jones home will improve the situation? What’s the saying about idle hands being the devil’s tools?

Brett Favre is still undecided if he will return for the 2007 football season.

My wife knows next to nothing about NFL football. We were watching Favre’s supposed ‘farewell game’ when the wife quipped, “Why’s he still playing? He looks horrible. Didn’t he retire?” If a complete novice can see the writing on the wall, what are the Packers waiting for?

Yankee fans booed Alex Rodriguez during the home opener on Monday afternoon.

A-Rod was the reigning MVP and hit .299/35/121 during what many considered a disappointing year. This is more evidence of my continuing theory that to be a Yankee fan one must not only be lacking a soul but also missing the brain’s frontal lobe.

The San Francisco Giants opened their season with a disappointing 7-0 loss at home to the Padres.

I’m not going to throw Zito under the bus for one lousy start but I’ll bet he wishes the Giants spent some of the money they threw his way on a few younger players to back him up.

It’s the final week of the NHL regular season.

Say goodbye to the exciting wide-open style of play that allows skilled players to separate themselves from those more ordinary. Hello clutch-and-grab ‘old-time hockey’ befitting the lowest common denominator of talent.

Florida got the better of Ohio State to capture the NCAA Men’s basketball championship.

What do you think is the ratio of NBA contracts to college diplomas between these two teams? How about the ratio of diplomas to NCAA recruiting violations?

The Lady Vols won their seventh NCAA Women’s title.

(Trying not to write something snarky.)

(Really, really trying.)

(Who am I kidding?)

Pat Summitt has done another wonderful job of preparing her young women to make the jump from the relative obscurity of NCAA Women’s basketball to complete obscurity in the WNBA.

(Ah, that’s better.)

The ‘Car of Tomorrow’ body design made its NASCAR debut on March 25th to mixed reviews from drivers and racing critics.

I wanted to write something serious about NASCAR’s move towards the safety of its drivers but I couldn’t get beyond an Earnhardt quote from after the race when he used the words, “I reckon.” I should get over my disdain for bad grammar and focus on the sport, I reckon.

The Master’s Tournament is coming up and many are hoping for a showdown between Lefty Mickelson and Tiger Woods.

Aren’t we to the point where any time Tiger doesn’t win, it’s an upset? Even marriage hasn’t derailed this guy. He’s a machine. He’s absolutely unstoppable.

We’ll keep it short and sweet today. Be sure to keep passing on Canon Fodder to anyone with Internet access. If you have a question or comment, shoot it my way at jeffp@canon-fodder.com.

I’ll see you back here tomorrow…I reckon.

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Quick Hitters

Tuesday, March 20th, 2007

One weekend and my NCAA brackets are in the trash. Ohio State lost a tight one and Duke dominated. But Duke lost, you say, and the Buckeyes won. Not according to my brackets. The Buckeyes were upset by Marist while the Lady Devils took the team from Holy Cross out behind the woodshed. C’mon, I’m the only one that filled out brackets for the NCAA Women’s tournament?

(Seriously, how many of you even knew there was a women’s tournament?)

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