Archive for the ‘Football’ Category

The Talent of Two Cities

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008

By Jeffrey Petts

Anyone that has been reading Canon Fodder for a while knows about my streak of Manning Hate. (I spent twenty minutes looking through the extensive CF library and couldn’t find a single reference to my Manning Hate – maybe you know nothing about it at all.)

Anyway…

I’m not Peyton’s biggest fan. Oh, he’s a fantastic quarterback. And his commercials are hysterical. Really, they are. Here’s an example of a mock commercial he did on Saturday Night Live:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnCkxTYew-0[/youtube]

You see, the guy is shrewd enough to poke fun at himself. You know, if you like 6’5”, 230 pound quarterbacks… with a laser rocket arm.

And I do like quarterbacks like him. But I just don’t like him. Never have. (Honestly, I blame his former Tennessee coach, Phil Fulmer for screwing over Michigan back in ’97 in the Coach’s Poll.)

So on Saturday, I was thoroughly enjoying the San Diego Chargers upset of Manning’s precious Colts in Indianapolis. My chest was filled with a warm glow as my heart sang out in joy.

Then Chargers QB Philip Rivers got hurt and walked off to the locker room. On his way to the tunnel, he turned to a fan, pointed and said, “I’ll be back.” Rivers was grinning as he said it. I sat at home and thought, Cool, he’ll be back.

You see, Rivers had the swagger of a champion. It seemed a bit strange, you know, because he hasn’t won anything in the NFL, but there he was, swaggering and grinning and putting fear into Colts fans.

By the time the fourth quarter rolled around, Rivers was riding the pine for good. All the moxie in the world wasn’t getting him back into the game. It was Peyton’s to lose.

Another one of the big reasons I’ve never been a Manning fan is his lack of leadership skills. If things aren’t going right, Peyton puts on his Manning Face. A receiver drops a ball. Manning Face. Offensive line misses a block. Manning Face. Kicker shanks a game-winning field goal. Manning face.

Needless to say, fans in Indianapolis may have a Super Bowl victory to celebrate, but they’ll never mistake their quarterback for Joe Montana.

Trailing late in the fourth, things began to get tough for the Colts. Favorite Manning target Marvin Harrison was on the bench. Newly-anointed favorite target Reggie Wayne was crushed when a Manning pass led him into a headlong collision with Bolts free safety Marlon McCree. I’m sure the resulting Manning Face was because he led his best able-bodied receiver into a game-ending engagement with a bloodthirsty defender rather than because Wayne failed to catch the ball. (Note to Peyton: Good quarterbacks don’t get their receivers decapitated.)

With a little over a minute left in the game and trailing by four, Manning had his team facing 4th and 5 at the 37. Manning face was beaming. Even if the fans didn’t realize it yet, the Colts players did. Incomplete pass. Change of possession. Season over.

San Diego fans are yet to enjoy the Vince Lombardi Trophy, but after watching Sunday’s game, I’m sure folks in southern California feel slightly better about their man under center. At the very least, they know their Chargers have a natural leader taking snaps.

On the other hand, we probably saw a bit of tarnish on the ol’ Manning mystique. Not because his team lost. That happens. It’s the lack of confidence – heart – that he showed when his team needed some Manning magic. Colts fans are stuck with the Tin Woodman with the Manning Face.

Gambler’s Corner: Playoff Edition – Week 2

Friday, January 11th, 2008

By Joe Moskwa

I would have to say this is my favorite playoff weekend of the entire NFL season. But before I get to my rambling, let’s recap last week’s games.

It was like the Seahawks were saying to the ‘Skins in the third quarter last week, “Miss this field goal and you’re DONE.”

Props to Eli for winning his first playoff game.

Titans? How did you make the playoffs without moving the ball an INCH all year?

And I heard the LAMEST statistic during the Steelers – Jags game last week. It went something like this: “The Steelers have never lost to the same team twice at home in one season before”. Let’s think about this for a moment. Look at any NFL team’s schedule any given season. Peep their home games. Yup, you guessed it; eight DIFFERENT opponents for eight different games. Great stat, Sherlock. If I hadn’t been pounding beers all day I would tell you who came up with this little nugget of non-wisdom.

Anyway, yes this is my favorite playoff week. We have four games to watch again, and I’d say at least six of these remaining teams are worthy of a title. As for last week? It looked nice on paper, but wasn’t as exciting as I had thought it would be. I did go 3-1 straight up, which I feel is a feat. Before I looked at the spreads for this week, I was pumped up at the thought of some good games. But Vegas says they are ALL going to be blowouts. I hope they’re wrong. I just want to see at least a couple of close games. If I were to wager? I’d probably (maybe) take the points in all games but the Indy game. I’m feeling an Indy POUNDING on the Chargers, but the game I’m most interested in watching is, of course, the Pats-Jags game. Which reminds me, I heard there’s another conference of teams playing some big games this weekend. I’m told they call themselves the “NFC”. (Okay, I made this joke a few days ago and someone said I should put it in the blog. I really don’t mean it, Brett, I swear. Same to you Terrell, I hope we’re still boys).

Onto the picks…

Divisional Playoffs – Saturday, Jan. 12
#3 Seattle Seahawks at #2 Green Bay Packers – Pack by 7.5
Let’s play a game while watching this. Let’s count how many times they show the Matt Hasselbeck “We want the ball and we’re gonna SCORE,” clip during the game. After that, let’s count how many times they mention Holmgren’s return to Lambeau. And that Holmgren was a mentor to Favre, and now a mentor to Hass. Also, I might have to break a Golden Rule of gambling. Pack at home always automatic? Right? Sure, I feel they’ll win. But something about Holmgren’s return says to take the points. Pack by 4-6.
PICK: Take the Waterfowl and the points (+7.5), but the Pack still wins.

#5 Jacksonville Jaguars at #1 New England Patriots – Pats giving 13.5
Well, here it is. Like I said, Jacksonville and Indy are the two teams with a prayer of knocking off the Pats. But what Vegas is saying here is the Pats aren’t going to let ANYONE stop them from finishing what they started. I’m calling a close game with New England making an extra play or two at the end, and winning by about 10.
PICK: Take the black cats and all those points (+13.5), but the Pats prevail.

Divisional Playoffs – Sunday, Jan. 13
#3 San Diego Chargers at #2 Indianapolis Colts – Bolts getting 9.5
It would be a total waste of NFL space if the Chargers were going to New England this weekend. I’m still just not sold on Philip Rivers. He does nothing for me. A total stud TE and the best RB in the game just doesn’t get an AFC team to the Super Bowl. Even with one of the FASTEST defenses in the game. I wonder if they would’ve kept Brees if he didn’t get hurt in his last game out there? I hope the Browns aren’t about to pull a ‘Chargers’ and dump their Brees (Derek Anderson) for their Rivers (Quinn). Anyway, this is the defending champions’ first playoff game of the season. ROLLLL Peyton roll.
PICK: Give the points and take the Colts.

#5 New York Giants at #1 Dallas Cowboys – ‘Boys by 7.5
The Cowboys and Jaguars are my sleepers this playoff season. Well, it’s hard to call the top seed a sleeper, but I don’t think people realize how close Dallas is to winning the Super Bowl this year. Terrell says get the popcorn ready for this one. As for the Giants? I don’t see them laying down. They’re gonna be able to move the ball. If I were to bet on this one, I’d have to take the points. Plus, they’re HOT. My bet is that this will be the best game of the group.
PICK: G-Men and the touchdown, (+7.5).

STRONGEST PICK: Indy –9.5
SECOND STRONGEST PICK: Giants + 7.5
BETTINGTIP: Tell your bookie that you’re staying away from the Pack and Pats this week. Just turn on the tube and enjoy the show.

Gambler’s Corner: Playoff Edition – Week 1

Friday, January 4th, 2008

By Joe Moskwa

The playoffs are here, and from the looks of things, this weekend should be entertaining. I absolutely love these match-ups, and it’s hard to not pull for ALL of the teams involved.

Even though I already talked about how slow it can seem to watch a lone NFL game – due to the endless commercials and how long the red-flag challenges are – I’m really looking forward to it. I won’t even mention this again, but there ARE a couple of things I’m still not sold on. First, division winners; I still stand by the fact I believe winning a division is very overrated. Take Tampa Bay for instance. They’re one of my favorite teams, I’ve been to their stadium, I’m a huge Garcia, Galloway fan, but they finished 9-7. 9-7 is okay, but they are HOSTING a first round game? Hosting a 10-6 team? Just because they won a division? It’s like the Giants are being penalized for being in the same division as the Cowboys. This will happen almost every year when the number of divisions in each conference (4) doubles the number of non-division winning wild card teams (2) every year. The same goes for Jacksonville (11-5) traveling up to play in Pittsburgh (Steelers 10-6) this Sunday. C’mon NFL, it should go by record.

The other thing I’m not sold on? The New England Patriots winning the Super Bowl. Now while I’d LOVE to make a bold prediction and pick a specific team that’s going to knock off the PATS (say the Colts), and then stick by it and see it come true. But I’m not doing that. All I’m really saying is the Pats put a lot of energy into the regular season, and there are going to be two VERY powerful AFC teams GUNNING for them soon. My call is the two Patriots games will be close, and I won’t be surprised if they get knocked off. The Jags are sound, and the Colts are still the champs. I’d mention the Chargers here, but I don’t think they are built correctly to knock off this year’s Patriots. The Colts and/or Jags will come closest, and if one of those two makes the Super Bowl, the Colts take the Cowboys, but the Cowboys take out the Jags. If the Pats make the Super Bowl? Blowout win.

Okay, onto the picks.

Saturday
Washington Redskins (9-7) at Seattle Seahawks (10-6)
– Waterfowls by 3.5
Maxim magazine picked Joe Gibbs as one of their top five coaches this year – to get fired. Nice call guys. Others mentioned? Coach Crennel of the Browns, and Coach McCarthy of the Packers. See? I’m not the ONLY one making bad picks! Also, my BIGGEST pet peeve around here in Michigan: All the fans that root for the Patriots just because Tom Brady went to Michigan. Yeah that’s real hard to root for the top team. And most of them are women. Drives me nuts. One woman I know went to Michigan State, and she didn’t believe me when I mentioned Brady went to Michigan. The others? Quick, name the quarterback Brady replaced. Hint: He also took the Pats to a Super Bowl. [dead silence]. Who is the QB for the Redskins? [dead silence]. It’s Todd Collins. What college did he attend? [dead silence]. This is what I have to deal with around here. “Visiting season” just passed (that’s where I get stuck going to gatherings on Sundays, and I have to listen to simple-minded statements while football is on), and when I have to hear someone rooting for the Pats and not the ‘Skins, it’s almost the same as rooting for Bill Gates and the big oil companies. Anyway, my point here is: Go Todd Collins. I hope you have a starting job next year. The rest of you? Your fanhood has been revoked.
PICK: Gibbs and the racial slurs! (+3.5)

Jacksonville Jaguars (11-5) at Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6) – Iron City getting 3
Don’t get me started on how the Jags have to fly up to the Steel City. Oh wait, I already got started. Okay, I called the Jags “boring to watch” this year. I did. Well, that’s probably because they play playoff-style football in the regular season. Run, manage the clock, run, manage the clock, play sound defense, play sound defense. All the little things you’ll NEVER see out of the Detroit Lions. I’m looking forward to the Jags taking this one outright.
PICK: Black Cats giving the figgie. (-3)

Sunday
New York Giants (10-6) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7)
– Bucs by 3
Another fun game to watch. I still can’t stress how much I love this week’s games. I’d go to this game… if my wife would let me. Odds of that happening? 0%. Not even 0.5 or 0.7. Zero. Thank god there’s this new invention that I just adore. It’s called the television. And mine will be tuned into channel Tampa this Sunday. Pick? Giants. By about 4. Why? Because I’m calling it now! The MANNING-MANNING Super Bowl! (Just kidding). Eli isn’t quite there yet.
PICK: G-Men and the figgie. (+3)

Tennessee Titans (10-6) at San Diego Chargers (11-5) – Bolts by 10
The Titans released Steve McNair last year because he always seemed to be getting hurt. His replacement? Vince Young. This is like the time a buddy of mine got rid of his black Labrador retriever because she sheds too much, but then he goes out and gets a German shepherd. If Vince Young even plays this Sunday, we won’t know for how long. There’s a good chance a Nittany Lion will be taking some Titan snaps on Sunday. PICK? The Chargers are charged, LT is rolling, and I gotta take the Bolts at home. Covering the spread? Probably not. Only because the Titans had them on the ropes a few weeks back, and Jeff Fisher rarely lets his team lay down.
PICK: Take the Thumbtacks and all those points. (+10)

And here’s a little preview for 2008 you can start paying attention to right now. Quarterbacks to watch for next year in regards to them starting or not, and WHERE they’ll be playing: Steve McNair, Todd Collins, Drew Stanton, Chris Redman, Kurt Warner.

Happy New Year.