Archive for the ‘Sports Betting’ Category

Gambler’s Corner: Super Bowl Edition

Friday, February 1st, 2008

By Joe Moskwa

Super Bowl XLII
Sunday, February 3, 2008
New York Giants vs. New England Patriots

Looks like we’re a couple of days from kickoff, and I’ll admit it – I can’t wait. I’ve got one of the best cooks in the world at my house this Sunday (that would be ME), a great team of drinkers, eaters, and laughers, and then after about six straight hours of goofing around and stuffing ourselves, they’ll kickoff a football game!

Now it’s the biggest game of the year, but what can I really say about it? I mean, what can I talk about that isn’t already being beaten like a drum? So you know what I’m gonna do? I’m going to let you listen to all that stuff on SportsCenter or in your favorite newspaper. Why should I repeat the undefeated and dynasty and Eli Manning and Brady talk? There’s really no point.

Okay, TWO sentences. That’s all it gets. Sentence #1: The New York Giants are getting 11.5 points. Sentence #2: The Giants will either win the game OUTRIGHT, or they will lose by 17+, so pull a “Joe” this Sunday and spend your money on hooch and yummers and yummies and munchies and not betting.

What are “yummers” and “hooch” you may ask? Well, you’ll have to see on Sunday if you want to know. You know, at my gathering. Hint: If you have enough hooch, you’ll start to make up words like yummers and shishka-baloney. Here, try the filet-of-pattay. A-la-mode even.

Some of the conversation WILL make sense though. Like when I start to reminisce about Super Bowls of years past. I grew up in the ‘80s, and my biggest and fondest memories are of watching Montana and Elway play. Sure, the Broncos always lost, but those two QBs were money, and they dominated the entire decade. The only thing I didn’t like was about how the adults wouldn’t stop rambling about Bart Starr and Terry Bradshaw. Bradshaw, Starr, Bradshaw, Starr, Steel Curtain, Starr… GRRR!!! Please be quiet, you are interrupting Joe Montana’s drive! I just wanted the ramblings about these dinosaurs to stop. I was certain that Bradshaw wore a leather helmet and was probably dead. Since all my uncles that talked about it were bald, these games must’ve been played in the 1800s. Which makes me realize, that NOW, my KIDS are going to start saying: Dad, stop talking about Joe Montana, he’s probably dead and we are trying to watch Tom Brady win his eighth Super Bowl. Now pass the cream-of-salami banana-split dip.

(Filet-of-pattay and salami-banana dip are just things I make up when I make something REAL, ask someone to try it, and they say “what is it” before they bite. Don’t you hate when they do that? Just try it!)

Drinking games that WILL be played this Sunday during the game at my house:

1) A round of Jello shots every time the camera shows Peyton and Archie sitting together.

2) All the women chug half a beer every time the word “undefeated” is mentioned.

3) All the men chug a whole beer every time the word “dynasty” is mentioned.

4) A round of Jello shots every time the ‘72 Miami Dolphins are mentioned.

5) Mandatory Jager bombs for the people that I choose whenever Junior Seau winning a ring after 33 years in the NFL is mentioned, whenever sixth-round-draft pick is mentioned, and when the “possible” stat of two brothers both winning a Super Bowl is mentioned. Either the announcers will have nothing to talk about, or we’ll be wearing out a few healthy livers on Sunday. Yikes!

I hope everyone has a blast this Sunday. I’ve got to head out now and stock up on Tums and Tylenol.

Editor’s note: I put a figurative gun to Joe’s head and forced a pick out of him.

PICK: Take the G-Men and the points (+11.5).

Gambler’s Corner: Playoff Edition – Week 3

Friday, January 18th, 2008

By Joe Moskwa

Crown ‘em. That’s it. That should just about wrap it up. Yes, while some of you may say “I coulda told you that eight weeks ago,” I’m officially giving the title to the Pats this year. It’s my opinion the chips fell in such a place that will allow me to be 100% sure of who this year’s Super Bowl winner will be. I’m not just PICKING them, I’m CALLING it. (There’s a difference). And again, most of you are probably wondering why this is such “big news”, but there’s a reason they actually PLAY the game.

So save your thoughts and conversations on the significance of an Eli Manning versus the Manning-shunned draft day Chargers Super Bowl, because it won’t happen.

Because I’m calling it. Ballgame.

Last weeks recap:

Peeeeeyton. Duuuude. Really? One and done? Say it ain’t so. Say you’ll be back next year. And speaking of the loss to the Chargers, if you watched it and paid attention to the biased announcing, would Dan Dierdorf totally have Peyton’s baby or what?

Let’s give the Jacksonville Jaguars a nice round of applause on a very solid season. It’s almost unfair that they have to play in the AFC during the Brady-Manning era. But I think it’ll make them even stronger.

Dallas? Nice job on playing a thirteen-game college season this year. And why is it so satisfying to see a rich old guy look SO pissed off? I think Jerry Jones really WAS about to take the headphones from one of the coaches on Sunday and take over, just like he does in my favorite cola commercial.

Let’s make some picks. (Not that I’d condone taking my advice this season. I really think this season is cursed for me).

Sunday, January 20th, 2008
AFC Championship Game, 3:00 pm

San Diego Chargers at New England Patriots – Bolts getting 14.5
Yeah, like I was saying a minute ago. I expect the Pats to roll. But let me backtrack for a second. I gave coach Turner some flack earlier this season but he gets my game ball from last week. Gates was hurt. Rivers was knocked out. L.T., perhaps the best back in the game? Out. Chargers defensive game plan? Gold. They had the Colts’ number this year, but like I mentioned before, they aren’t the team to knock the Patriots out. New England is on a major mission, and they’ll plow over the Bolts in their last home game of the year. By about 17.
Pick: Give the two TDs and take the Pats (-14.5).

NFC Championship Game, 6:30 pm
New York Giants at Green Bay Packers – G-Men getting 7.5
Last week I jokingly called an All-Manning Super Bowl and I said Eli wasn’t ready. But he’s a GAME away! Coach Coughlin and his heavily motivated team kept Archie Manning’s Sunday from being ruined. Could you imagine watching both your sons being eliminated from the playoffs in the same day? Ouch. The Giants get a gameball as well, but I don’t. I actually broke my Lambeau winter rule and took the Seahawks last week! Am I crazy? Favre is playing like a kid, that O-line is amazing, and Ryan Grant and his long strides can bust an 80-yarder at any moment. The Packers are worthy of a title this year and I fully expect a rematch of Super Bowl XXXII. (Packers 35, Patriots 21, 1997, Louisiana Superdome. Desmond Howard took two kicks back to the house).

You’ll also remember that Favre’s hair was brown back then. (You’ll see the clips soon enough). So I have to go back to my rule. Gotta take the Pack. By about 10.
Pick: Cheeseheads giving a touchdown (-7.5).

Side note: Will I put money on these picks? Probably not because this is the last REAL weekend of football, so I just plan on enjoying it. If I HAD to bet? Patriots by 17.

Enjoy the games.

Gambler’s Corner: Playoff Edition – Week 2

Friday, January 11th, 2008

By Joe Moskwa

I would have to say this is my favorite playoff weekend of the entire NFL season. But before I get to my rambling, let’s recap last week’s games.

It was like the Seahawks were saying to the ‘Skins in the third quarter last week, “Miss this field goal and you’re DONE.”

Props to Eli for winning his first playoff game.

Titans? How did you make the playoffs without moving the ball an INCH all year?

And I heard the LAMEST statistic during the Steelers – Jags game last week. It went something like this: “The Steelers have never lost to the same team twice at home in one season before”. Let’s think about this for a moment. Look at any NFL team’s schedule any given season. Peep their home games. Yup, you guessed it; eight DIFFERENT opponents for eight different games. Great stat, Sherlock. If I hadn’t been pounding beers all day I would tell you who came up with this little nugget of non-wisdom.

Anyway, yes this is my favorite playoff week. We have four games to watch again, and I’d say at least six of these remaining teams are worthy of a title. As for last week? It looked nice on paper, but wasn’t as exciting as I had thought it would be. I did go 3-1 straight up, which I feel is a feat. Before I looked at the spreads for this week, I was pumped up at the thought of some good games. But Vegas says they are ALL going to be blowouts. I hope they’re wrong. I just want to see at least a couple of close games. If I were to wager? I’d probably (maybe) take the points in all games but the Indy game. I’m feeling an Indy POUNDING on the Chargers, but the game I’m most interested in watching is, of course, the Pats-Jags game. Which reminds me, I heard there’s another conference of teams playing some big games this weekend. I’m told they call themselves the “NFC”. (Okay, I made this joke a few days ago and someone said I should put it in the blog. I really don’t mean it, Brett, I swear. Same to you Terrell, I hope we’re still boys).

Onto the picks…

Divisional Playoffs – Saturday, Jan. 12
#3 Seattle Seahawks at #2 Green Bay Packers – Pack by 7.5
Let’s play a game while watching this. Let’s count how many times they show the Matt Hasselbeck “We want the ball and we’re gonna SCORE,” clip during the game. After that, let’s count how many times they mention Holmgren’s return to Lambeau. And that Holmgren was a mentor to Favre, and now a mentor to Hass. Also, I might have to break a Golden Rule of gambling. Pack at home always automatic? Right? Sure, I feel they’ll win. But something about Holmgren’s return says to take the points. Pack by 4-6.
PICK: Take the Waterfowl and the points (+7.5), but the Pack still wins.

#5 Jacksonville Jaguars at #1 New England Patriots – Pats giving 13.5
Well, here it is. Like I said, Jacksonville and Indy are the two teams with a prayer of knocking off the Pats. But what Vegas is saying here is the Pats aren’t going to let ANYONE stop them from finishing what they started. I’m calling a close game with New England making an extra play or two at the end, and winning by about 10.
PICK: Take the black cats and all those points (+13.5), but the Pats prevail.

Divisional Playoffs – Sunday, Jan. 13
#3 San Diego Chargers at #2 Indianapolis Colts – Bolts getting 9.5
It would be a total waste of NFL space if the Chargers were going to New England this weekend. I’m still just not sold on Philip Rivers. He does nothing for me. A total stud TE and the best RB in the game just doesn’t get an AFC team to the Super Bowl. Even with one of the FASTEST defenses in the game. I wonder if they would’ve kept Brees if he didn’t get hurt in his last game out there? I hope the Browns aren’t about to pull a ‘Chargers’ and dump their Brees (Derek Anderson) for their Rivers (Quinn). Anyway, this is the defending champions’ first playoff game of the season. ROLLLL Peyton roll.
PICK: Give the points and take the Colts.

#5 New York Giants at #1 Dallas Cowboys – ‘Boys by 7.5
The Cowboys and Jaguars are my sleepers this playoff season. Well, it’s hard to call the top seed a sleeper, but I don’t think people realize how close Dallas is to winning the Super Bowl this year. Terrell says get the popcorn ready for this one. As for the Giants? I don’t see them laying down. They’re gonna be able to move the ball. If I were to bet on this one, I’d have to take the points. Plus, they’re HOT. My bet is that this will be the best game of the group.
PICK: G-Men and the touchdown, (+7.5).

STRONGEST PICK: Indy –9.5
SECOND STRONGEST PICK: Giants + 7.5
BETTINGTIP: Tell your bookie that you’re staying away from the Pack and Pats this week. Just turn on the tube and enjoy the show.